Change would be good

This month's DSMA Blog Carnival asks, "If you could change one thing about diabetes, (besides not having it), what would you change? Why?"

I have thought about this for quite some time.  There are many things that I would LOVE to change about diabetes.  

Finger sticks - I know that it is the easiest location to get blood for a bg check, but my fingers get sore sometimes.  I have calluses so thick that I've used them as a thimble.  

List of conditions that I'm now at risk for -  Going to a new doctor is never fun.  Filling out the medical history paperwork and seeing "Diabetes" printed in red is not a comforting sight.

Multiple doctor's appointments - I'm thankful for having a job that gives me quite a bit of "sick time" so I don't lose any pay for all my appointments, but I would love to take time off for something a bit more enjoyable.

Cost of medications - I feel very blessed to have the insurance coverage that I do, and that I don't have to argue with them (too much) to have everything covered (read: test strips), but I still have deductibles and co-pays that have to be paid.  

Each one has it benefits and downfalls, but there is one that stands out above all others.  

If there was only one thing I could change about diabetes would be the emotional aspect. 

There are days when the blood sugar roller coaster is too much and I don't want to do it anymore.  There are other days when blood sugars are level all day, but at a low level, or high level, and no matter what you do it won't come up or down.

There are days when you begin to question yourself and your ability to manage this disease.  The feeling of failure can be very overwhelming.

However, it's the emotions that sneak up on me during a high or a low that are the most frustrating, and heart breaking.  I know I am very grumpy and short fused when I am running high.  Sometimes I don't know that I'm running high, but when it seems like everything is getting on my nerves and no one can do anything right, I try to remember that it is not them, but quite possibly me.  If I have been running high all day, when I get home I walk in saying, "I've been high, and I can't get it down, so I'm very grumpy.  Consider this your warning."  

I don't know about you, but I wish I didn't have to do that.  I try my darndest to keep my emotions, and my mood swings, in check but sometimes I'm caught off guard.  It's not my family's fault but they are the ones that pay the price, and it is not fair.

So if there was one thing I could change about diabetes (other than not having it) would be that my emotions would not be so effected by my blood sugar levels.  There are enough things in the world that effect my emotions... I just wish diabetes wasn't one of them.

Emotional Impact

“This post is my August entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetescaf.org/2013/08/august-dsma-blog-carnival-3/“
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"What can a parent of a child with diabetes, or a person with diabetes, do to help reduce the emotional impact of caring for diabetes?"

What can I do to help reduce the emotional impact of caring for my diabetes? Holy cow that is a loaded question.

Recently I had a rough low. It was one of those where you want to eat everything in sight, but still have the wherewithal to not (a rare case might I add). I actually didn't feel the low until I laid down and the world took up spinning. Not good. I opened two packs of fruit snacks and waited. I may or may not have actually chewed the snacks. What made this low so much different than others, was that I broke down and cried. I'm the first to admit that I'm not much of a crier. Very rarely do sappy movies even evoke a tear. My daughter will confirm that. However, here I was at 5:30 in the evening bawling my eyes out over a low of 54.. or was it 45. It was just too much for me to deal with right at that moment. We were two days away from moving my daughter to college and becoming 'empty nesters'. That in itself is an emotional roller coaster. My daughter has been there to help with my middle of the night lows, my stubborn highs and subsequent rage boluses (boli?), my "I hate food" dinners, and everything in between.  It was then that the thought sunk in that I wouldn't have one of my biggest Type Awesomes right there, and I would be just a little more on my own. 

So how can we reduce the emotional impact?  We can surround ourselves with an outstanding support team.  Family, friends, physicians, people who may or may not "get it" but will ALWAYS be there for you.  They may carry fruit snacks, insulin, test strips, alcohol wipes, glucose tabs... but they will always and forever be Judgement free.

Strengths and Weaknesses

“This post is my May entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2013/may-dsma-blog-carnival-3/ "

As with most things in life, it is easier to see the negative in yourself and diabetes is no exception. I have many weaknesses and strengths. In fairness I will list an equal number of each, and end with the strengths.

Weaknesses

1. Bolusing 15 minutes before eating. This is HARD, and not just when eating out. Even at home I have a tendency to bolus as I'm walking to the table with my plate. I want to make sure I know the amount of carbs I'm going to be eating, and the best way to figure that is to have my plate filled first. That creates the problem of sitting there while everyone else is eating and my food is getting cold. So I bolus right as we start to eat.
2. Carb counting. This is HARD. I've taken the classes. I've studied the books. I've read every label in my house and I still S.W.A.G. it most of the time. One of the items that really throws me for a loop is homemade bread. I make the bread for my family (ok.. that sounds way better than it really is. I throw the ingredients in my bread machine and hit start. Three hours later.. voila!) and my bread machine doesn't attach a label telling me the carb count, nor does my cutting skills make the same size slice each time.
3. Logging my numbers. To be truthful, I don't do this at all. Between my meter, my pump, and my CGM they are all basically logged for me, right?

Strengths

1. Keeping supplies on hand. This may sound simple, and it truly is, but oh so nice. A couple years ago I had the great privilege of switching insurance companies right after having my three month's supply of insulin, test strips, and pump supplies filled. This meant I had to get new prescriptions for everything BUT I could get them filled right away without there being a delay because of the "too soon to reorder" issue. There are times it is tempting to let my reorder slide a little longer because of what I have on hand, but then I remind myself that there may be a time when I can't get them or afford them. By having a good stockpile I feel I'm a little better prepared.
2. Keeping my doctor appointments.  I hate going to the doctor as much as anyone.  Even though I always have my book and my phone with me to keep my occupied while waiting, I still hate the wait.  There are a couple doctors I REALLY don't like to go to.  For the most part, they are nice, but I just don't like it.  The eye doctor for instance.  Dr. I is pleasant and thorough, but oh so monotone.
3. Changing my infusion site every three days.  Ok.. this one is a cheater strength (but not logging numbers was a cheater weakness.. so fair is fair).  We're supposed to change sites every three days no matter what.  It helps prevent scar tissue, and absorption issues, and darker than necessary funky tan lines from the tape (it's summer now).  Right now, I go through a full cartridge in my pump every three days, give or take a few hours depending on the occasion.

How about you?  What are YOUR strengths and weaknesses??

2013 Diabetes Goals

This post is my January entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2013/january-dsma-blog-carnival-2/

My list of Diabetes goals for 2013

One of the goals that I have for 2013, diabetically speaking, I have already achieved. January 4th I had my regularly scheduled endo appointment. I wasn't expecting to leave with a LOWER A1C, but I did. I had hoped to have a lower than 7 sometime in 2013. I just wasn't expecting it to be four days in... and AFTER the holidays!

SO..

Goal 1: Have a lower than 7.0 A1C = CHECK

Goal 2: More than one no hitter day on my CGM in a month/week =

Goal 3: Purchase extra 'clothes' for my pump =

Goal 4: Actually order my G4 before the 'upgrade discount' expires =

Goal 5: Exercise consistently for longer than 3 weeks =

Goal 6: Figure out a more attractive D-bag =

I'm sure I could.. and I know I do.. have more goals. Some of these are trivial and really have nothing to do with my physcial health, but they make me smile.

2012 In Review

“This post is my December entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2012/december-dsma-blog-carnival-2/"


So this if my first DSMA Blog Carnival entry.. ever. The topic is to reflect on diabetes in 2012. 

Holy cow!! It has been quite a year for me.

The first couple months of the year were your normal everyday months.  Work, laundry, family, pets, chores, work, laundry, family, pets, chores, etc.  Nothing really stands out diabetically speaking until March. 

In March I had my first, and hopefully only, surgery since getting "Freeda" my insulin pump.  My doctor was very accommodating.  When I talked to him about staying connected, or at least reconnecting right after surgery his response was, "You can take care of your diabetes better than we can so we will give you back control as soon as possible."  Have I said that I really REALLY like the doctors I have now?  No?  Well, I do.

In April I got "George" my CGM. Who knew that having that much information could be addictive? My readings have always been WAY OFF if I start the new sensor right after inserting, so I usually swap out the sensor before I go to bed, and then start it in the morning. That does mean I have a whole night of no safety net alarms. I did it all the time, so why should I worry? But I do. Those nights I don't sleep real soundly. Thankfully I can get about 14 days out of each sensor.

Also in April, I unknowingly at first, participated in my first ever JDRF walk.  I was the adult in charge (no laughing) of the JROTC group that was helping with the games and clean up.  My doctor was there and said that next year I should be on the walk committee.  So far, the committee meetings have been great.  I think we're doing a tour of the local pizza parlors though.

In May, at my regular doctor's visit my doctor asked if I tweeted.  I didn't at the time, but looked into it.  I've been tweeting ever since.  I found the DOC (Diabetes Online Community) and participate in DSMA Wednesday evenings, just about every week (life permitting that is).  I have met some awesome people around the world that someday I hope to actually meet in real life!  It will happen.. life permitting that is. 

In October I started this blog.  There were so many ideas running around in my head of things I wanted to share.  Things that took more than 140 characters to explain.  Can anyone really tell their diagnosis story in two sentences?  I couldn't.  The hardest part in getting started, however, was figuring out a name.  Looking around my desk at work, my house, and my hectic life it came to me..  My life was a zoo,  a Sweet Zoo.

In November I participated in the National Health Blog Post Month.  The joy of having topics given to me to write about was great.  Little nudges of ideas that got my brain working in a certain direction.  Some days I was stumped.  I now have a greater appreciation for those that always do a blog post everyday. 

So here we are in December.  My first DSMA Blog Carnival post. 

What will 2013 bring?  I have no idea.. but I'm sure that there will be lots of things worth writing about so stay tuned.